FREE DOWNLOAD FROM IDIOT RAPPER WHO CLAIMS
Entrances2hell
IS A HOAX
Entrances2hell
IS A HOAX
Middle-aged, middle-class "Electronic poet" Mr Irvine, who walks 1,000 miles every week, has released an anti-Entrances2hell rant. The astonishing lyrics of his cheeky ambient-rap 'Myth-Buster' claim that "Entrances2hell is a gentle spoof on the medium we call the Internet and it isn't real." Hypocritically his new album also contains 2 other tracks which are blatantly inspired by our website (One of them a haunting slice of drifting electro called 'Ssssuuuuft', the second is called 'We're Gonna Spend The Night At Bill Masheen'). This guy is either a publicity seeking half-wit or some kind of a nut job (maybe both). You can decide for yourself by listening to our FREE download of 'Myth Buster'.Get a FREE Download of Mr Irvine's 'Myth Buster'
Mr Irvine's website
Buy Mr Irvine's MP3 album 'Juicy Jpegs'
Listen to a lo-fi excerpt from Mr Irvine's
ambient masterpiece 'Ssssuuuuft'
Listen to a lo-fi excerpt from Mr Irvine's 'We're Gonna Spend The Night At Bill Masheen'
WipetheNet.org seeks E2h erasure
Right-wingers WipetheNet.org stepped up their campaign against entrances2hell.co.uk this week when they called for our new T-shirts to be made illegal. The Bible-bashing collective, who want to see the entire Internet erased, claimed that our highly popular designs will "encourage teenagers and students away from their studies and into danger both spiritual and physical".
Crazed woman attacks E2h HQ
A middle-aged woman suffering from de Cleramboult's Syndrome was arrested after threatening to attack E2h headquarters. Police say that the former GP from Solihull attempted to drive a Giant Mini covered in entrances2hell safety posters into the revolving doors of the entrances2hell building before handcuffing herself to a bronze sculpture in the E2h water garden. Speaking on local radio, the woman said, "Dr Gates loves me. His marriage is a sham. I will attack again." Dr Gates, Compiler-In-Chief of E2h, yesterday revealed, "This misguided and lonely creature has attempted to break into my home on several occasions during the last 15 years often wearing nothing but an entrances2hell T-shirt. I have nothing but sympathy for her but she desperately needs help."
MORE PATERNITY SUIT DENIALS
Dr Rae Gates of entrances2hell.co.uk strongly denies the paternity claim of yet another pole-dancer from Tokyo following his recent lecture tour of Japan. "This is nothing more than a cynical attempt to extort money," he said. "I did not have sexual relations with this woman, my only contact with her was to autograph her entrances2hell T-shirt during a post-lecture drinks event."
Dr Gates to circumnavigate
the Earth in new improved hovercraft
On Tuesday, Dr Gates of entrances2hell announced a fresh attempt to circle the Earth in what will be the world's largest ever hovercraft. The construction of the E2h VOYAGER 6 is expected to be completed in less than 2 years and may include safety improvements following the sad loss of VOYAGER 5. Dr Gates will fund the venture with proceeds from sales of the entrances2hell T-shirt and safety posters.
the Earth in new improved hovercraft
Dr Gates would like to thank his numerous female fans in Japan who have sent photos of themselves. We regret that we are not able to publish any of these as our Service Provider does not permit erotic content
NOW YOU CAN BUY
THE ENTRANCES2HELL
SAFETY POSTER
THE ENTRANCES2HELL
SAFETY POSTER
Make sure your colleagues are kept aware of the Entrances2hell Safety Rules by placing this bright yellow information poster in a prominent location. Starting at only 6 DOLLARS and available in 2 sizes from our CafePress shop.